嗯,总体很不错。被惊艳到了= =+ 几个地方有点小疏漏his creamy eyes unwavering(奶油色的眸子波澜不惊) His hair was kept long, at Alexanders and was always pulled into a low pony tail that hung just past the butlers shoulders.(但在亚历山大家,他从来都只将长发扎成及肩的马尾) red in the face.(在脸上留下了红肿的印记) was soon rewarded with the sight of a carriage being pulled by two silver horses and behind manned by a butler with red eyes.(然后不久,仿佛回应等待者的期盼,一辆....闯进视线中,) signaled(示意,不是告诉)for the butler to follow him hopped down(迅速跳下马车) Sairi bowed then strode off(快步走向) to his master. Sairi started,(双唇微启) 然后“幽幽的”那个地方,词的本意是“大怒”不过我觉得的确是“幽幽的”比较好。 holding him to the bed什么的笑而不语= =+ 先帮你校对那么点咯,原谅咱吧 被抓来的校对君上
第二章:没什么太多要改的,但是有个比较大的错误哦.... I promised him that if I ever(不论何时) met the one who ran the company that I would tell him thank you."这里“不论何时”没出来。 you'll have to excuse me(您得原谅我)您不得不原谅我很奇怪吧.... One of the maids rapped on the wooden door(木门就好....) Sairi opened the door in a swift bow(敏捷地鞠躬,将门打开) For a while, Ciel just stared. He looked at Alexander through his single eye, then looked down and said silently. "You haven't changed at all Alex.(你简直一点未变)"孩子你haven't漏看了.... 嘛,继续工作
NO.3 I should have seen that in my ignorance that he was dieing.(我本应看到这点:我对他将要死去一无所知。) In the bathroom, Sebastian placed Ciel into the water fondly(温柔地将少爷放进水中)那个词有“深情”的意思,嘿嘿... playfully following them around at their heels(玩耍般地绕在他们脚踝旁) She whined in the care of Sebastian but did not buck.(马没有暴躁地抗拒,却是在低声嘶叫)这句是在讲马,不是主人公= =lll