=====<A Fine Match   势均力敌>=====

         One  day  a  lady  sees  a   mouse  running  across  her  kitchen  floor. She  is  very  afraid  of  mouse ,so  she  runs  out  of  the  house , gets  into  a  bus  and  goes  to the  shops . There  she  buys  a  mousetrap  .The  shopkeeper  says  to  her :"Put  some  cheese  in   it  and  you  will  soon  catch  that  mouse ."
         有一天某位妇女士看到一只老鼠在自家的厨房地板上窜过。她很害怕老鼠，所以她冲出屋子，搭上了公共汽车直奔商店。在那儿，她买了一只老鼠夹。店主告诉她：“放点奶酪在里面，很快你就会逮住那只老鼠的。”


         The  lady  goes  home  with  her  mousetrap  ,but  when she looked  in  her  cupboard,  she  can  not  find  any  cheese  in  it . She  does  not  want   to  go  back  to  the  shop,because  it  is  very   late ,so  she   cut   a  picture  of  some  cheese  out  of  a  magazine  and  put  that  in  the  trap .
        这位女士带着鼠夹回到家里，但她没有在碗橱里找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店里去，因为已经很晚了。于是，她就从一份杂志中剪下一幅奶酪的图片放进了夹子。


        Surprisingly  ,the  picture  of  the  cheese  is  quite  successful !When  the  lady  comes  down  to  the  kitchen   the  next  morning  she  finds  a  picture  of  a  mouse  in  the trap  beside  the  picture  of  the  cheese !
        令人惊奇的是，这画有奶酪的图片竟然奏效了！第二天早上，这位女士下楼到橱房时，发现鼠夹里奶酪图片旁有一张画有老鼠的图片！


=====<Fruit 水果游戏>=====

    Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.
    三个在森林迷路的人被食人族抓住了。食人族首领对他们说,如果他们能通过一项游戏,他们就能活命。


    The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
    测验的第一关是,去森林里采摘属于同一品种的10个水果。所以,这三个人分散开来去采摘水果。


    The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."
   第一个人回来对食人族首领说:“我带回来了10个苹果。”首领然后向他说明了游戏规则:“你必须要把这10个苹果塞进你的**里,同时脸上不能有任何表情,否则就吃了你。


    The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
    The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.
   第一个苹果被塞进去了….到第二个的时候,因为疼痛他躲开了,所以,他被吃掉了。
    第二个人带着10个葡萄回来了。当首领向他说明游戏规则后,他想,对他来说这应该很容易。


    So he proceeded: 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the 9th berry he burst out in laughter and was killed immediately.
    他开始了,一个,两个,三个, …….当到第九个葡萄的时候,他大笑了起来,所以,他马上被吃了。


    Weeks later, the first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"
    "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
    几星期过去了,第一个人和第二个人在天堂碰面了。第一个人问第二个人:“你当时干嘛笑啊,你都快成功了?”
    第二个人回答说:“我忍不住啊,我看见第三个人拿着10个菠萝回来了。”

=====<位置上的冰激凌>=====

    "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."
    "Yours?Can you prove it?"
    "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."
    "请原谅,你占了我的位置."
    "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?"
    "能,我在位置上放了杯 冰激凌."

=====<死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭>=====