先放题目

@527888579 @A蓝泪A @子语丶 @碧綺Y

这个作文是我自己找来写的，所以不着急改，大家有空再帮我看看吧。里面的连词不知道有没有用对地方，还有时态，词组搭配什么的

Last month, our company did a survey amony 1000 people who younger than 35 years old "If you carry shopping online ".The survey shows that 64% of those are willing to shop online because of it is convenience why them to buy what they need things at home.And that goods online not only are cheaper ,but also have a variety of hrands to choose.However ,the rest of those don*t want shopping online ,for they are worried to buy what false goods as well as being cheated out of money.In conclusion ,only by decrease disavantage of shop online will more and more people choose to shop online.

嗯

妹子你有很大的进步了(￣▽￣)就是很少的地方用法不对啊，be动词稍微注意一下。
Last month, our company did a survey about “If you go shopping online” amony 1000 people who were younger than 35 years old .The survey shows that 64% of those are willing to shop online because it is convenient（convenience是noun，convenient是adj）for them to buy what they need at home.（我以前句子开头喜欢用and然后老师说这个用法不好，最好用其他衔接词）Moreover， those goods online not only are cheaper ,but also have a variety of brands for customers to choose. However ,the rest of people don*t want shopping online ,for they are either worried about buying fakes or being cheated out of money(这个我也不知道用法对不）In conclusion, if shopping online seems to be much safer, there will be more and more people shopping online.

嗯

Last month, our company did a survey among 1000 people whose age were below 35 on whether they are willing to conduct online shopping. The survey showed that 64% of them were willing to conduct online shopping as it is convenient for them to buy things they need at home. Furthermore, goods online are not only cheaper but there are also a variety of brands for them to choose.However the other 36% were unwilling to conduct online shopping as they are afraid of counterfeit goods and worry about being scam. In conclusion, only when the disadvantage of online shopping is reduce then will there be an increasing number of people willing to conduct online shopping.

好吧那是我乱写的