杰克给恩尼斯的一封信

a letter from Jack

in my restless dreams,
i see that place.
brokebackmountain.
you promised you’d take me
there again someday.
but you never did.
well i’m alone there now...
waiting for you to
come to see me.
but you never do.
and so i wait, wrapped in my
cocoon of pain and loneliness.
i know i’ve done a terrible
thing to you. something you might
never forgive me for.
i wish i could change
that, but i can’t.
i feel so pathetic
laying here, waiting for you...
every day i stare up at the mountains
and all i can think
about is how unfair it all is...

my mother came today.
she told me i should go to you
it’s not that i’m getting better.
it’s just that this may be
my last chance...
i think you know what i mean...
even so, i’m glad to be going
to you. i’ve missed you terribly.
but i’m afraid Ennis.
i’m afraid you don’t really
want me to get in your life.
whenever you meet me,
i can tell how hard it is on you...
i don’t know if you
hate me or pity me...
or maybe i just disgust you....
i’m sorry about that.
when i first learned that
i could never get you,
i just didn’t want to accept it.
i was so angry all the time and
struck out at everyone i loved most.
especially you, Ennis.
that’s why i understand
if you do hate me.
but i want you to
know this, Ennis.
i’ll always love you.
even though our life together had
to end like this, i still wouldn’t
trade it for the world. we had
some wonderful years together.
well this letter has gone on
too long so i’ll say goodbye.
this letter would be given to you after i’m gone.
that means that as you read this,
i’m already dead.
i can’t tell you to remember me,
but i can’t bear for you to
forget me.
Ennis, i want you to live
for yourself now.
do what’s best for you
Ennis...
you made me happy.