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ANNUNCIATION: Annunciation describes the shape into which words are formed. Men lean toward denotation rather than connotation. In other words, men get the job done as quickly as possible with the most focus. When speaking they hit the edges of words like square waves, cutting each one like they were chopping carrots.In contrast, femininity more connotation oriented. Women are not as concerned with the meaning of a word so much as its context, and that context is expressed in a more flowing, graceful manner. Women will round the edges of their words to avoid cliffs and walls. Believe it or not, the best source I've found as an example of this is with Valley Girls. Val Speak for girls puts an envelope on the words that sing songs with stair steps, rounds the words and flows the hidden agenda of meaning in the background context. I suggest that you rent either Whoopi Goldberg's stand up comedy routine on video tape or the movie "Valley Girls". Both of these have the feminine dialect down pat. It is MUCH easier to go overboard to an extreme and then tone it down than to try to build up from where you are now. There is so much initial embarrassment trying to speak female AND each step requires additional work and additional habits to be broken. You learn one level of success then have to unlearn that to get to the next. But if you jump all the way to the extreme and use that, it will begin to average out with the annunciation you are using now and will tone itself down until it is right on the mark for normal conversation as today's woman. Now, I referred above to the "feminine dialect". But it is much more than that. IN fact, the annunciation and dynamic range of femininity is applied to every language and every culture in the world. The words and grammar may change, but the connotation of the feminine meaning is a universal language that can be understood from woman to woman in times and worlds apart. Still, it is not stilted or defined. In fact, it is quite flexible. Women do not live a single role, but many, as mother, wife, career woman, friend. As such, she plays variations of the feminine dialect depending upon the role without ever losing the femininity. This can be accomplished by realizing that the feminine dialect is not one thing but several blended together. As a woman shifts from role to role, she uses the same tools, but with different emphasis depending upon the situation. The voice that I use with my girlfriends is different than the voice I use when lecturing at work to my interns. The voice I use with my boyfriend is different than the voice I use with my wife. Get away from the binary, free yourself from definition. Go with the flow, be flexible, and play with variations on a theme.
VOCABULARY: Think about the phrase, "I Got a pain in my gut." Who would say that, a man or a woman? A woman might say, "I have a pain in my stomach.", or, if she really wanted to be obnoxious, "My tummy hurts..." (GAK!) The point is, that some words are more masculine or feminine that others. Part of this again derives from the brokering of power. For example, a man usually "wants" something while a woman "would like" something. "Want" means "lack" and implies "need" which further implies the right to have. This reflects the aggressive side of the power equation. On the other hand, "would like" states a preference, not an intent, and therefore runs the idea up the flagpole to see if anyone is against it before acting. This reflects the submissive side of the power equation.You can notice the difference in the way men and women will order at the speaker of a drive-through fast food restaurant. A man will say, "I want a Big Mac.", whereas a woman will say, "I'd like a salad, please." This point was driven home to me when I was working on a movie as a Director of Photography. When I worked this position as a man, I would just tell the crew exactly what I wanted and they would hop to! But on the first day of this two day shoot I was working with a crew I had not met before. AND it was my first D P job as a woman. So, I went to work as usual, telling everyone exactly what I wanted: "I want a 1K mini in that corner as a set light and a half K kicker with a yellow filter as a hair light." Nobody moved. I looked around wondering why nothing was happening. Finally I just said, "Okay, let's go to work", and they did. But they went ever so slowly. And the more I told them what I wanted, the slower and less precise they became. At the end of the day, we had only accomplished half of what I had wanted to. We were WAY behind schedule. These
VOCABULARY: Think about the phrase, "I Got a pain in my gut." Who would say that, a man or a woman? A woman might say, "I have a pain in my stomach.", or, if she really wanted to be obnoxious, "My tummy hurts..." (GAK!) The point is, that some words are more masculine or feminine that others. Part of this again derives from the brokering of power. For example, a man usually "wants" something while a woman "would like" something. "Want" means "lack" and implies "need" which further implies the right to have. This reflects the aggressive side of the power equation. On the other hand, "would like" states a preference, not an intent, and therefore runs the idea up the flagpole to see if anyone is against it before acting. This reflects the submissive side of the power equation.You can notice the difference in the way men and women will order at the speaker of a drive-through fast food restaurant. A man will say, "I want a Big Mac.", whereas a woman will say, "I'd like a salad, please." This point was driven home to me when I was working on a movie as a Director of Photography. When I worked this position as a man, I would just tell the crew exactly what I wanted and they would hop to! But on the first day of this two day shoot I was working with a crew I had not met before. AND it was my first D P job as a woman. So, I went to work as usual, telling everyone exactly what I wanted: "I want a 1K mini in that corner as a set light and a half K kicker with a yellow filter as a hair light." Nobody moved. I looked around wondering why nothing was happening. Finally I just said, "Okay, let's go to work", and they did. But they went ever so slowly. And the more I told them what I wanted, the slower and less precise they became. At the end of the day, we had only accomplished half of what I had wanted to. We were WAY behind schedule. These
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