【第三本JC的书】序章翻译

After the BBC decided not to renew mycontract, I didn't really know what to do next. So I went to the pub and thatwas very enjoyable. But after a week or so, I realized that I couldn't spendthe rest of my life there, so I decided to get a job.
当BBC决定不再续签我的合同时，我真的不知道接下来应该干什么。然后我每天就出入酒吧，发现那里还挺不错的。但是过了一周后，我不可能把我的后半生荒废在那里。所以我决定去找个工作。

You know that bit in the movie Taken when Liam Neeson says he has acquireda special set of skills over the years? Well, I'm the same. But the skills I'veacquired are almost completely useless. I make this very clear to my childrenwhen they travel. "If you're Kidnapped, all I can do is power slide whilegurning and this will in no way help secure your safe return."
你过你看过连姆·尼森的飓风营救，他说他在这几年里学到了不少特殊的技能。但是我学到的东西大多数都没什么用。我在我孩子旅游的时候和他们说的非常清楚：“假如你们被绑架了（对照前文的飓风营救），我唯一能做的就是铲杀过弯，但是这对你们能安全的回来一点用都没。”

Anyway, to cut a long story short, theKensington job centre said they had no vacancies for someone who wantedmillions of pounds to drive a Lamborghini sideways in a cloud of its own tyresmoke, so I decided after a week or so that I would make a farming programme.
长话短说吧，那个肯辛顿的职业介绍所说他们没有那种付你几百万英镑，让你开兰博基尼烧胎的工作。所以我决定准备做一个农业节目。

前排！

But it was OK, because pretty soonafter that someone drove a tank - an effing bank - up to the front door of theBBC's London headquarters demanding my return, and the newspapers went berserk.I was on the front page every day for three weeks. Not just here but all aroundthe world.
刚开始的时候，事情还算正常。但是很快有个人开了一辆坦克，一辆该死的坦克。直接停在了BBC总部的门口，想让BBC把我请回来。然后报纸上都是关于我的爆炸性的大新闻。我在接下来的三周都是在报纸的头版头条。而且不只是在英国的报纸，是全世界的。。。

So, on the day that Chelsea won thePremiership, I left Stamford Bridge, telling my son and our friends that Iwould not be able to join them for celebratory drinks as I had to meet GeorgeLucas. "No biggie," I said, as causal as you like.
那天切尔西在英超比赛也赢了，我离开了斯坦福桥球场，然后给我的儿子和朋友说我不能参加庆祝酒会了，我必须去见乔治·卢卡斯。

Eventually though, we chose an agentand he was so brilliant that very quickly the job offers started pouring in.I've never known anything like it. I can put in a shift, but God, I was workingso hard to stop drinking. Way into the night, the calls were flooding in fromCalifornia: new offers, new strategies, new ways of putting a show in front ofthe viewers. I was having to learn about the future, and you can't do thatafter a couple of bottles of Leoube.
最终我们找到了一份工作，新的地方，新的开始。喝了几瓶Leoube后，我有点醉了。

This meant we were doing vital business to thebackground accompaniment of light jazz, as the only place Richard could findthat a) had service and b) was out of earshot of Andy and I, was outside a cafewith a live band.
Amazingly, however, we managed to pull it off. And as you'll probablyknow, we are now at Amazon Prime.
这种情形就意味着我们在搞一个大新闻，最后，可能能已经知道了，我们已经决定在亚马逊工作了。

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