你为什么不问问神奇的忍者神龟呢？

为什么不问问神奇的海螺

Here at Peninsularity Ensues it has come to our attention that an inexplicably large number of people are interested in the latest developments regarding the arrival of the aliens from Planet Gootan.
We know this because for reasons equally inexplicable (though not unwelcomed), Peninsularity Ensues is currently ranked third (!) among Google’s 7,800 search results for “Planet Gootan”.
It is therefore our responsibility to alert the numerous nutjobs still enquiring into the arrival last year (which didn’t happen) of the massive spaceships from Planet Gootan (which don’t exist), by providing the latest information on the Gootan situation as it stands. Of course, it goes without saying that we at PE intend no offence toward said nutjobs and weirdos who have given this happy little website so much traffic. Keep it coming, you loveable knuckleheads!
Here, for the first time, in the interest of easing the disturbed minds of billions of people whose attention spans apparently no longer exceed 140 characters (making this urgent global announcement redundant, yes, I know), we have some new information of vital importance.

The arrival date has once more been pushed forward… to March 2013.
The Weekly World News has again recently reported that (since the aliens from planet Gootan mysteriously failed to arrive as promised last November) they will actually be arriving in March, 2013 (they still have a couple of days)…
Please share this information with everyone you know, as the fate of the world depends on… well, pretty much everything other than this.
1. Planets outside our solar system have names like Gliese 518c, PSR B1620-26 b, or HD 209458 b (they kinda have to be named like this because there’s billions of them)… NOT ‘Planet Gootan’. That’s just fucking ridiculous.
2. The Weekly World News, the “newspaper” that originally broke the Planet Gootan story and incorrectly predicted the arrival of the aliens in their massive spaceships late last year, is not a fucking newspaper! One story from late last year announced that Facebook will be shutting down this May. For future reference, please think of the WWN as being like The Onion, without the wit. Whilst many may remain confused about the validity of such websites, given that supposedly legitimate newspapers, such as the Korea Times are not immune to reposting stories from The Onion as genuine news articles, and also reprinted the WWN Planet Gootan story (for reasons that have never been adequately explained)… please just exercise your best judgement… or phone a friend.
3. To the 27,000 (!?) people who’ve taken the time and effort to comment on the Weekly World News’ Facebook “story”, as well as the thousands of commenters concerned with the impending Gootan situation… you guys need to go out and get jobs… and your access to electricity revoked.
4. To the forum poster citing the ‘UN Panel for Extraterrestrials’ (so that’s what the UN is for…) and who helpfully provided a physical description of one of the landed spacecraft… – “The Gootan spaceship is cylindrical on either side and has a shape in the middle.” – you are a satirical fucking genious (I sincerely hope)…
5. Yahoo Answers?? Actually, that sounds about right. This is the kind of intellectual strength we need in times of crisis such as these.

which movie？

What is this if not incontrovertible proof? Aliens!!!
Fear not dear readers. It is clear that collectively we are still at present only scratching the surface regarding the Gootan issue and the immense implications this will have on the fate of humankind. The dedicated staff at Peninsularity Ensues will provide updates as they come to hand.
Planet Gootan!
So this is what the Internet is for… besides porn.

what?

这是Gootan星人的警告

LZ你好，LZ再见。

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