A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感，于是对着男友说：“SAY ‘I LOVE YOU!!’SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!”
男的答道：“IT!”

一位在美的留学生，想要考国际驾照。
在考试时因为过于紧张，看到地上标线是向左转。
他不放心的问道:turn left?
监考官回答: right. 于是他立刻向右转......

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

A: We should love animals.
B: Yeah, they are so tasty.

快乐背英单
1.bachelor【别娶了】→单身汉
2.ambulance【俺不能死】→救护车
3.ponderous【胖的要死】→笨重的
4.ambition【俺必胜】→雄心
5.abyss【额必死】→深渊
6.economy【依靠农民】→经济
7.shabby【**】→卑鄙的
8.ail【哎哟】→疼痛
9.business【逼著你死】→生意
10.police【跑累死】→**


搞笑的中式英语
目击者的搞笑车祸现场描述
one car come, one car go ,two car pengpeng, people die
山贼抢路人的经典桥段
A: If you want money, I have no; if you want life, I have one!
B: You have seed! I will give you some color to see see! Brothers! Together up!
小华不理小明,於是小明很生气的说：You don’t bird me, I don’t bird you, too.


A: Your future depends on your dreams.
B: So go to sleep?

A: Are you kidding?
B: No, I am serious.
A: 你是Kidding吗？
B: 不，我是Serious.

搞笑中翻英
不入虎穴焉得虎子
Blue who say and the who's
一分耕耘，一分收获
Even game win, even so whole
知之为知之，不知为不知
Know is know, No know is no know.
龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞
Dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse’ son can make hole.
有事启奏，无事退朝
Hello,everybody! If you have something to say,then say! If you have nothing to say, go home!!


老师：请每个人举出一个“ful结尾”的『名词』
A: cupful
B: bagful
C: rulieful如来佛
……