LZ我爱你

挽一个。。。

thx~

不搞基。。。thx~

Chuck Norris decided to play DotA one day. Unfortunately for him, vigoss decided to play DotA that same day.
有一天查克诺里斯想玩dota~不幸的是，在那天vigoss也想dota了~

翻完了~最后发一个有关查克诺里斯的100条不得不说的事实~
这时一切外国流行版本（包括vigoss外传版本）的起源~外国人好这口，确实也很有趣~

给个链接吧。。。

帮挽

十五字十五字十五字十五字十五字

补一下被抽的楼。。。

- - ni tai dan tengle

- -

Top 100 facts about Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris 100个最广为人知的事实
1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris的眼泪能治癌，可惜的是他从来不哭。
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris从来不睡觉。他等待着。
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademark
ed names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris现在正在起诉NBC，声称“法律”和“秩序”只不过是他左右腿的商标而已
。
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris的主要出口产品是痛苦。
5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norr
is, you may be only seconds away from death.
如果你能看到Chuck Norris，那Chuck Norris也能看到你。如果你不能看到Chuck Norr
is，那你离死不远了。
（译者注：在Chuck Norris的电视剧中，结尾曲有句歌词大意是“那些做坏事的人小心
了，Chuck Norris正看着你！”）
6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris从一数到了无穷。两次
7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probabili
ty of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris从来不去“狩猎”，因为“狩猎”这个词暗示有可能失败。Chuck Norris
直接去“杀”。
8. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
Chuck Norris从来不洗衣服。他直接把它们撕开。
（译者注：撕开衣服是猛男打架的前兆。 ）
9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the
man ate a f***ing Indian.
Chuck Norris有1/8的Cherokee血统。这和他的祖先无关——这个家伙吃掉了一个他吗的
印地安人。（译者注：Cherokee是印第安人一支。 ）
10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it
notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in t
he book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
精装版吉尼斯世界纪录大全的最后一页上特别注明，所有的吉尼斯世界纪录其实都是由C
huck Norris保持的，这本书上记载的只不过是那些最接近他的人而已。
11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist
.
Chuck Norris的胡子后面其实没有下巴，那里只有另外一个拳头。
（译者注：Chuck Norris的胡子被视为他的“猛男”特征之一。）
12. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke
the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she w
as flying over thePacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris有一次用Roundhouse踢人的时候太猛了，以至于他的脚超过光速，时光旅
行回到过去，然后杀掉了正在太平洋上空飞行的Amelia Earhart。
（译者注：1 roundhouse踢是Chuck Norris的绝招，下同。 2 Amelia Earhart是20世纪
30年代环球飞行时死亡的女性。 ）
13. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes
corn needs to lie the f*** down.
“麦圈”现象其实是Chuck Norris想要表达“你们这些麦子就他吗的给我倒呀！”的意
思而已。
（译者注：麦圈，灵异现象爱好者眼中的“世界之迷”之一。有人说麦圈是他们的恶作
剧，但是这个说法并不被爱好者接受。）
14. Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could
eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.


Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
74. Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in
his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
威尔特张伯伦声称他一生中和20000个女人睡过——Chuck Norris认为这只不过是一个“
冗长的周二”而已。
（译者注：威尔特张伯伦，著名篮球中锋。）
75. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go
around.
和一般所认为的想法，这个世界上到处巡逻的Chuck Norris已经足够多了。
76. Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only
thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris从来不刮胡子，他自己踢自己的脸。唯一能切得动Chuck Norris的东西就
是Chuck Norris了。
77. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck
Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
有些人，他们左边的睾丸比右边的大。Chuck Norris，他每一边的睾丸都比另外那边的
大。
78. When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will
score a 1600.
当你考SAT的时候，把每个问题的答案都写成Chuck Norris，你会得到1600分。
（译者注：SAT相当于美国高考，满分1600）
79. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum
of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris制造了黑色。事实上他制造了所有的光谱中有的颜色，除了粉红色。汤姆
克鲁斯制造了粉红色。
（译者注：汤姆克鲁斯，著名男星。）
80. When you’re Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One
roundhouse kick to the face.
当你是Chuck Norris，任何东西+任何都是都是1。1个oundhouse踢在脸上。
81. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983
World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free
Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game
UNO.
Chuck Norris是史上最好扑克脸。他赢得了1983年的扑克世界冠军，尽管他手上只拿着
一张王，一张“强手棋”里免费出狱的牌，一张黑桃2，一张方块7，和一张来自于UNO牌
戏的绿色4号卡。
（译者注：扑克脸，玩扑克不让对手看到自己脸色并以此胜利的人。UNO，美国小孩牌戏
，玩法类似于我国扑克牌玩法中的“说谎”。 ）
82. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be
thrown into the sun.
每逢生日，Chuck Norris都会选择一个幸运小孩，然后把他扔到太阳上去。
83. Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
没有人不爱Sara Lee，除了Chuck Norris。
（译者注：Sara Lee是美国的大型食品公司，它每辆运货车上都写着广告语“没有人不
爱Sara Lee”。）
84. Chuck Norris doesn’t throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris
throws down!
无法翻译
（译者注：英语里Throw up 表示吐。Chuck Norris不是不吐，他只是不让对手站着，一
律打倒！他的字典里没有up这个字样，所以只好“Throw down”了。）
85. In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse
kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of
the universe.
一开始，什么都没有……后来Chuck Norris一个roundhouse踢在那“没有”的脸上，一
边说“***的给我干点什么！”。这就是宇宙起源的故事。
86. Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.


屌爆了