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我写的关于中秋节的诗,高手进来评价一下

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 天边一梦
                                             悔忆当日窃仙果,
                                             只含泪眸升秋。
                                             独倚广寒宫,
                                             天地幽幽。
                                             脉脉凝,
                                             暮云,
                                             柔。  

                                          
                                             愁,
                                             星空,
                                             疑似羞。
                                             岁岁年年,
                                             又恰逢十五。
                                             奈何天上人间,
                                             冰韵何时允我归?

(注:此诗主要变现姮娥在月圆十五佳节时孤独,悔恨,凄凉,渴望团圆的情感)
                                            

 


1楼2006-08-16 12:51回复
    晕哦,题目离正文那么远…


    2楼2006-08-16 12:53
    回复
      2026-03-07 23:08:33
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      • 59.56.31.*
      奔月非本意,盗药也无心.
      广寒困姮娥,月宫锁乡情.


      3楼2006-09-18 21:58
      回复
        • 58.52.81.*
        很好


        4楼2006-09-22 17:24
        回复
          • 221.4.158.*


          5楼2006-09-23 09:38
          回复
            • 222.189.251.*


            6楼2006-10-01 20:50
            回复
              真差!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!http://www.baidu.com/search/img/course03.gif


              7楼2006-10-03 09:26
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                真差~~~


                8楼2006-10-03 09:28
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                  2026-03-07 23:02:33
                  广告
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                  • 218.19.242.*
                  还可以耶^^^


                  9楼2006-10-03 10:55
                  回复
                    • 221.204.201.*
                    文采还不错嘛


                    10楼2006-10-03 18:17
                    回复
                      • 221.130.75.*
                      还可以,格式OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                      11楼2006-10-04 14:11
                      回复
                        • 124.165.46.*
                        xing


                        12楼2006-10-04 14:34
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                          • 124.165.46.*
                          不错


                          13楼2006-10-04 14:35
                          回复
                            • 222.240.19.*
                            guygtyfythh


                            14楼2006-10-04 15:51
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                              2026-03-07 22:56:33
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                              • 222.245.67.*
                              不打击你。.


                              15楼2006-10-04 16:12
                              回复