proactively dedicating in a community, especially one with frequent internal and external conflicts is not necessarily beneficial for mental health, let alone that your mental status is so far unstable. It can only bring bane to you rather than conducive emotional feedback, I'd recommend you to quit pixiv and gacha game community for months to come, till your inner world are not pertinent to deteriorate but returned to a healthy durable equilibrium to abusive comments and social pressure incurred which pertain to the group.